The Golden Rule

The golden rule dates back ages and ages. It states that you should do unto others as you would have done unto you. This concept can be explained from the perspective of psychology, philosophy, sociology and religion. Psychologically, it involves a person empathizing with others. Philosophically, it involves a person perceiving their neighbor as also "an I" or "self." Sociologically, this principle is applicable between individuals, between groups, and also between individuals and groups. (For example, a person living by this rule treats all people with consideration, not just members of his or her in-group). Religion is an integral part of the history of this concept.

Another one I really like comes from the Disney movie Bambi. Thumper says, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

I really like these rules. I try to live by them, I fail sometimes as we all do. But I try. I really like what the golden rules definition explained, that it involves a person empathizing, putting yourself in someone else's shoes. How would you feel if you found out your child had cancer? What lengths would you go to to protect him and help him get better? Please think of this for a moment. Unfortunately, most people will never fully understand unless they go through it themselves. Which I wouldn't wish on anyone. Not one bit. I just think we need a reminder of these two sayings from time to time.

As a family going through having a child with cancer, we need all the positivity we can get. We need love, support, understanding, and forgiveness. All of our emotions are rightfully, yet unfortunately not very stable right now. We sometimes feel like we are going crazy. Especially me, mom, mama bear, trying to keep my sweet baby boy alive. We are trying our hardest to help Max get through this physically, mentally, and emotionally. Yes, he's two, but he does have feelings and understands better than people would think. Negative comments in anyway hurt his feelings and hurt his families feelings. Max is now bald and we are trying our hardest to help him still feel handsome. Which he totally is. Comments that others might think are funny, are hurtful to our little family. Again, we don't need the negativity. We have enough of it as it is. Negative comments said behind our back about the way we are handling things with Max are not at all helpful. Again, we need understanding and support, unconditionally.

We want to make this experience the best one we can. We try to have normal days, do normal things, we just do them a little differently than we used to. If we go to a store, we usually keep Max in the car with the other parent. We sanitize like crazy. If we go to a restaurant, we sit in more secluded areas and again, sanitize like crazy. Doing theses things are okay within reason and are encouraged by our doctor who wants us to still have fun with Max as a family. When Max's blood counts are too low, we stay home and barricade ourselves in with no visitors. Unfortunately, we can't plan on when this happens. We basically live day to day, week to week with this. Some days he is just fine to go out, have fun, and do normal activities. Other days, not so much. Some days we are okay to attend family events and parties and such, and others we are not. The problem is that we can't know for sure when he will have the low blood counts that will keep him barricaded in. We also try to keep our home a safe, clean place that Max can come to when he's done with outside activities and wash all those germs away. We need to keep our home this way. It's hard since we are living with my in laws, but they are mindful of Max and know that he is what is most important right now. We can't plan for big family activities to be held at our home because we won't know where Max's counts will be at that time. Isn't it better to be safe than sorry? I recently saw a great germ analogy to this on one of the cancer mom's pages on FB. She said that going out with your child in public is like going on a walk through the park. Even with how careful he is, he might step in dog poo. But having everyone in your home visiting is like someone bringing in a bag of dog poo and smearing it everywhere, since you never know what people are going to touch in your home. Being around strangers in public is also different than being around a lot of family visitors in your home. Strangers won't come up and hug him and get in his face and touch him. Family does. We are just trying to protect him and follow our doctors advice on both accounts. If this is still confusing to anyone, I can give you the phone number to our oncologist social worker to explain better.

Max had his 5th chemo treatment yesterday and it was just the Vincristine again. We are now on an every 3 week schedule for the Dactinomycin, but he will still get the Vincristine every week. He did so much better yesterday having his port accessed. The child life specialist came in and had great distractions. He only cried when the needle went it. This is huge progress for him! YAY! Hopefully she can come in every week now! Our visit was very short yesterday, we were in and out within an hour and a half. It was nice to have the rest of the day to ourselves. I ended up taking Sam on a mommy/son date. We went to lunch at taco time and went to see the movie Epic. It was cute and Sam and I enjoyed ourselves. Sam has had a really rough week this week. Which meant that I did too. We fought a lot and I'm ashamed to say, I yelled a lot. I think he is having a hard time with all this and just doesn't know how to handle his worry and anger about this situation. We spoke with our social worker about it yesterday and she gave us a cute little story book about a little boy who has a sibling with cancer. I hope that our one on one time yesterday helped him and that we can help him get through this as well.

Max is now officially bald and looks so cute. Sam has said some not so nice things to his brother about his head, but we are trying to explain to Sam that it's not okay to say them and that we should only say nice things. Again, Thumpers advice. I think this 4 year old is starting to understand a little. I sure love my little boys.

 I found Max eating Vanilla Wafers when I woke up the other morning. Lol

 Mommy/Sam date. Yep, his sunglasses are awesome!

 Max and Daddy went for a walk around the block and found a kitty. Max loves animals.

 Cutest bald little boy I've ever seen! I love his cheesers!

I apologize for how long this post is. I had some things I've been thinking about for the last couple of days and this blog is meant to be an outlet for me and a good place to update everyone at the same time. If, at anytime, I say something you don't like, feel free to stop reading. Thank you again to everyone who has supported us and has sent nothing but love, prayers and understanding our way. We need it.