It's been a while since I wrote on here. I've been crazy busy getting Max's raffle fundraiser put together and taking care of him and Sam. I hope it will be worth it in the end. We have over 100 raffle prizes now plus quite a few sponsors that helped out. It's going to be a really fun event. I'm really looking forward to it. I just hope that Max will be feeling well enough after chemo on Tuesday to be able to go. He is now going every 3 weeks because he is on such high doses of both chemo meds. He has two treatments left as long as all the scans come back good at the end of September. Then, if all is well, we will be heading to Panama City Beach in Florida for The Lighthouse Family Retreat for families with a cancer child. They are paying for all our travel, all our food, and our lodging. We will have meetings every morning with the other parents while our kids are having fun doing different games and activities with the volunteers. I'm really looking forward to this and being able to relate to other cancer parents. Then, at the end of October, Make-a-Wish will be sending us to Disneyworld for a week. We get to stay at a special resort called Give Kids the World that is just for wish families. We have heard that the resort is almost better than the Disney parks. The boys are SO excited for our Disney trip. Sam makes us watch the Disneyworld documentaries on Netflix almost every day. This has been something for us to be excited about to celebrate that Max has made it through his treatments.

We decided to brave the outdoors on Saturday and took the boys up to Strawberry Reservoir with Papa Shirl and his boat to meet my parents up there. The boys love fishing, especially on Papa's "pirate ship". Sam caught a pretty good sized rainbow trout, but I (with my pink sparkly fishing pole that sparkles as you reel it in) caught the two biggest rainbow trouts. I even touched it to hold it up for a picture and got my fingers all slimy! I was feeling pretty proud. We went back to my parents campsite for lunch and my mom cooked up the fish for the boys. Then the men went back out fishing, in the rain, while my mom and I entertained the boys in the trailer. I have now learned that a little trailer is not a good enough place to entertain a 2 and 4 year old while it's raining outside. They got pretty bored after a very short time. But all in all, it was a pretty fun day.

Sunday, Nate and I met with our Bishop. He wanted to check up on us and how Max was doing as well as Nate with the job search. Thankfully, Nate has found a job. I know everyone's prayers helped!
The Bishop talked to us about how we were feeling with Max going through having cancer. He said that there are two choices we can make, either hardening our hearts or being humbled and growing stronger through this trial through faith and prayer. I told him that for me, it's a daily battle between the two. I don't normally talk about how I'm feeling about all of this because I bawl like a baby when I do. Some days I'm angry and sad and just downright mad at the world that my sweet little baby has cancer and has to go get poisoned with chemo to try to cure him. It breaks my heart every time he throws up, every time he cries that his legs hurt so bad, and when I see his bald little head and his eyebrows and eyelashes now starting to fall out. It hurts me that he couldn't have a normal summer and that Sam had to be effected by this so much as well. But then, other days, I am humbled by all the love and support we have received. A simple post or message on FB from others sending their love and prayers melts my heart and brings me to tears. Donations made in any way, big or smal,l humbles me speechless that others are so willing to give to help us through this rough time and to help with Max's medical bills. A general manager from a restaurant cried with me as I explained to him about Max. The owners of a Tattoo shop donated more than any other business because they said it was their dream to be able to help with a child going through cancer. And so many other stories of others opening their hearts to us. It has overwhelmed me with joy and the love of Christ through others. Those are the times when I can't regret being thrown into this because I have learned so much and been touched so deeply by the kindness and love of others. I have met so many amazing people through this experience that have truly changed my life. But, being honest, it is a daily battle of all those feelings, good and bad. But we wouldn't be human if we didn't go through both. I do have faith and every hope that Max will get through this. And if the cancer ever comes back, I know that it is the Lord's plan and that he will see us through that as well. Whatever the outcome. I know that most of you can never fully understand what a parent goes through when having a child go through a life threatening illness, and I pray that you never do. But this was something that our little family had to go through and I feel like it has brought us closer together and so much more appreciative of our time together. Almost being at the end of Max's treatments has finally let me see the light at the end of this very dark tunnel and I just pray that Max can someday understand just how much I love him and would do anything for him. I have fought this battle right beside him the whole way and it has changed me forever. Max, I love you and am so proud of how hard you have been fighting this disease. You are truly my hero.

This is Max with his "Hero Package" from Gamerosity. They sent him an iPad mini with all the bells and whistles to help him get through his long Dr.s appointments.

 Nate and Sam hanging out in the hammock out back. Sam calls it a hamster. lol

 This is us a Strawberry Reservoir with my parents and the big rainbow trout I caught.

 Enjoying a campfire in the backyard and making s'mores.

 These are some pics that a very sweet lady took of Sam and Max for Max's poster.

 These pics are ones that another friend took for us up in the canyon.